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My Search for the God and Goddess

I believe that fate played a large part in what I believe today. Fate and unexpected events and people in my life allowed me to take a larger view of the world and my little place within it. My mother was a fanatic Christian and for her there was no other option. I too believed that there was but one path. That opinion changed when I was about nine. I was in Sunday school and the discussion was about having a soul. It was stated that humans have a soul and animals do not. What is a soul? Being confused I couldn't help but ask. The answer that I received was that a soul was what gave a person a personality. Well, needless to say, anyone who has had a pet knows that animals decidedly have a personality. I also realize that this person was not the foremost authority on the Christian religion. It was then that I realized that much of the teachings of that belief system separate us (Humans) from the rest of the natural order. I could not accept that then and I cannot now.

For a time I was a young agnostic. I believed that there was something of value out there, but I had no idea what it was. In 1977 that changed. I saw the now classic movie Star Wars. At that point I felt there was a great deal of truth in the concept of the Force. It wasn't that I bought the whole religion from the movie, it was the concept that life itself created something greater than itself, something tangible that you can feel if you are open to it.

At fourteen I met Brandy. It was a one-time meeting. She was the wife of a truck driver for the company my mother worked for. We met briefly at a company picnic. She was a self-proclaimed witch and she told me many things that no one but I knew. More importantly, though, she told me things that I didn't know then, but have proven true over the years. I actually remember her eyes more than anything else. She had big, almost blue-purple, eyes. I named my oldest daughter after her, and strangely enough my Brandy has almost blue-purple eyes.

After all that, I started actively looking for something I could believe in and trust. I found paganism through books. I don't consider my search through even now. We can never learn all there is to learn and we can never pass on enough. I have two beautiful daughters and I don't intend to brainwash them the way my mother tried to do to me. They will have to make up their own minds. My job, as I see it, is to make sure that they have the tools to make good decisions in all aspects of their lives.

This is my story, and I would love to hear yours. If you would like to share it, please send it to me. Let me know if you mind my posting it on this web site.




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